So Strange

Seriously, I feel like a yo-yo these days. I’m down to 196, so I lost 4 pounds this week. So strange. Anyway, I tracked a lot this week; not every day, but definitely more than last week. I made healthier choices – had a mango, some grapples, bunch of bananas, even had celery and carrots for a snack. I bought these real yummy Pretzel crisps from Costco and at first I put an ounce of cheese on them, but to save points I switched to smearing a cheese wedge on a serving (so now it’s a 3 point snack instead of a 5 point one)…they are so yummy!

I realized that I missed an issue of the WW magazine and I am not happy about it either…I LOVE their magazine! I thought it had been awhile since I’d received one and Barb was talking about these recipes she was trying from the magazine and I didn’t remember reading them. Anyway, I’m borrowing her copy! No point in buying one (that’s what I get a subscription for) – they are expensive too. I tried one of their soup recipes – Tortellini en Brodo and I LOVED IT! I changed it some by making it in the crockpot…just need to add a little more broth if you do it that way. Next time I make it I will probably add some mushrooms too. Katelynn loved it! She had it for dinner and lunch the next day – any food I can get her to eat these days is okay in my book. I’m going to try their Israeli Vegetable Couscous with Feta and Olives next. I went to the store and bought microwavable steamer bags to try their Micro-mashed potatoes and the weirdest thing happened – the bag was empty!! So, I called Ziplock and they are sending me free bags PLUS coupons! So strange.

I have not been able to find the motivation to start “working-out.” I take daily walks with the kiddos and dog, and I always make sure to include a large hill that makes my calves burn. It’s a workout hauling those kids around! I didn’t think it would be but you’re literally strapping a 10 pound weight to yourself while pushing 30 pounds and pulling/holding back 45 pounds. Hmmm…no wonder I work up a sweat. Today it was so nice outside, so while Denver was napping and Katelynn was playing with the sidewalk chalk I did 4-count jumping jacks and walking lunges. Felt great!

My sister and I are going shopping on Sunday. I was hoping that my weight would come off a little quicker so that I could fit into my “fat girl jeans” – a size 16 Levi’s that I’ve had forever. Well, they don’t fit. I did manage to squeeze into them two days ago, but really I wouldn’t be caught dead in public in them. I’ve been living in either my maternity pants or black yoga pants. It’s time to buy my first ever size 18 pants. I WILL NOT keep them once I can get into my 16’s, and you know what?! I’m going to get rid of my size 16’s too. If I ever “need” them again I will buy another pair, but I don’t plan on EVER needing them again. Of course IF I have another baby I might be back at this number again, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I don't even want to think about summer clothes yet. I’ve got a long way to go to get into my size 12 and 14 summer outfits (Side Note: I have NEVER been anything smaller then a size 12…anything before age 13 doesn’t count). My WW leader said to buy yourself a new pair of shoes since you’ll be a different “size” by summer, but you’re feet will still be the same – smart lady! Maybe I’ll get a pair of sandals while we’re out.

I don’t have any big goals for the upcoming week. I didn’t make it to the meeting so I don’t know what the WW goal is – I will have to ask my sister tomorrow (it’s too late to call her now). I want to just keep going and stay positive about it all. Chris comes home on Friday – right in the middle of the “week;” it would be nice if I could get out for a run a few times before he deploys again. Sounds like I just made my goal…

Goals

Exercise – to go for 2 runs. I have no set distance or time goals since it’s been months since I’ve ran. I’ll just be happy to get out there and “run.”

Food – try to work in more veggies.

I don't want to...

I really don’t want to, but I must. I learned a hard lesson this week when I gained 3.4 lbs taking me back up to exactly 200. I really didn’t want to write that down for all to see; then I realized that really the only person that will read this is my sister and she has a been there done that type attitude to help me get through it. “If you’re not ready, don’t force it; just try to be observant” is what she told me. Seriously though I didn’t even think it was possible to gain so much in one week. I had a feeling it was going to be a bad week, but I was thinking along the lines of 1 or 2 pounds, not almost 4. It took me 3 weeks to lose 5 and only 1 to put almost all of it back on.

I’ve been thinking about the weight gain all night, and even had a good cry about it. It’s all behind me now, nothing I can do about it, so my head is up and I’m charging into the next week with a bit of “can-do” attitude.

Reflections on the past week: I tried to think of reasons as to why I put on almost four pounds. My loving husband said “maybe your period is due” and “maybe it was water weight from all the water you’ve been drinking”- LOL…he tries. For some reason over this past week I had the mentality that I didn’t need to write it down, after all I lost 2 lbs last week without tracking. Even as I was eating stuff that I knew better (really Angie did you need to buy Newman’s Own cookies to put in the cookie jar?), I really didn’t seem to care. Where did my motivation go? Probably the same place as my sleep. The wonderful news is Denver is finally starting to sleep for longer periods of time (5 to 6 hours instead of 3 to 4) – although it feels as if I’m more tired now that I’m actually getting some sleep. Katelynn is being very 2 these days which is so very draining; in ways she has even digressed some (they say that happens when another child comes along). Chris is on deployment again. Hmmm…can I come up with any more excuses as to why I didn’t take the time to log what I ate? Can I think of anyone else to blame but myself? Give me time and I just might!

Good news on the exercise front. I got cleared last week, so I’ve started walking more (can’t run unless Chris is here…I don’t think the snugli’s are meant for running with a 6 week old?! LOL). I strapped Denver to my chest, put Katelynn in the jogging stroller, and hooked Vinson up and off we went – boy what a workout! I was sweating after the first block. Looks like it’s going to rain for the next two days so I think I’ll give the band DVD workout a try. Chris also said, “maybe you’re eating more because you’re walking more” that would be so true if I didn’t just start that 2 days ago when the weather got nice.

I’m starting the “week” off right and I’m tracking. I logged my breakfast already. I’m going to remind myself that even if I don’t log a meal or I miss a day that not all is lost. Do not give up on the entire week just because of a bad day.

I don’t know what the WW tip for the week is yet. With Chris being gone I had to take the kids to the meeting with me and Katelynn had a huge meltdown – which could be a blessing in disguise because it prevented me from having a meltdown of my own over my weight gain (didn’t even see it was a gain until I got into the car). Two weeks ago it was to try new fruit and veggies – my sister tried a mango and shared it with me on Sunday. I never even knew what they looked like whole (I’ve seen and had them sliced before). It looked really easy so I might have to get one on my next trip to the grocery store. The fruit I tried was a Grapple. It "looks like an apple and tastes like a grape" is what the box said, and yes, it did look like an apple…tasted more like a grape icee…very sweet. It was not my favorite, but a nice change.

Goal:

My goal for the week is to take charge of my weight loss efforts. It’s my body and no one else can do it for me. I can complain all I want about the obstacles in my way, but ultimately it is up to me to make the changes.

Pick, pick, pick

What a long week! Chris was deployed (although by the pictures he sent me it looked more like a vacation), and I thought that I ate really bad overall (chocolate, pop tarts, pizza, etc). I did have a lot of rice and chicken with veggies for dinner (so easy to make). I don’t normally make bland stuff while Chris is here so it was a nice change of pace.  I didn’t get a lot of sleep this week either so I did a lot of picking throughout the day and coffee drinking (lots of creamer please). I ate out twice too. Yet with all this I still managed to lose 2 lbs this week! I’m down to 196.

The big news of the week - I’ve decided to stop WW. Not because it doesn’t work, but because I just don’t have the time to take full advantage of the program (I’ll continue with it until my monthly pass expires in April). I’m ready to lose weight, I’m just not ready to give someone money for a program that I just don’t have the time to follow. I enjoy the weekly meetings but they are hard to make when Chris is gone, and since he’s leaving for 3 more weeks this Sunday and then possibly for 6 months shortly after that…it will be best to just wait awhile. I don’t think I’d benefit any from going to the weekly meetings and being constantly reminded of how bad I’m eating or how I just didn’t have the time to work out that week (plus the stress of either finding someone to watch the kids or dragging them to the meetings). Besides I can get all the weekly topics and updates from my Sister!

I really enjoy the WW magazine so I will continue my subscription. I know I can do this without WW and it will save us money to cancel my membership (money that will now go to doggy daycare). Livestrong (which I used last year) is free too! I’m all about saving money these days…especially with Stew’s wedding coming up (that’s my brother and he’s getting married in the Dominion Republic in May…ah, warm, sandy beaches).

Of course this in no way means I’ll stop my blog! I love writing. It gives me an outlet for how I’m feeling, and somehow it always seems so much more manageable when it’s all written down right in front of me. I’m still making a life style change; I’m just going to do it without WW, and I know I can be just as supportive of my sister (and myself) without the program.

Right now I’m making small changes like I did a year ago and I’m slowly losing. Aren’t those the type of changes that make you successful in the long run? Change one or two things here and there. All that matters to me is that I feel good about myself. I feel so down on me lately – nothing seems to be good enough. If I do get an occasional break then I feel guilty for not being with the kiddos. I read my sister’s update last week and she was so positive, it made me realize how negative I’ve been about everything. I’m hoping to turn that around this week. The funny thing about that is the topic at WW for the upcoming week “Celebrating your strengths.” We’re supposed to try positive self-talking. Too funny!

Tracking this week was really bad – I almost forgot what the WW tracker looks like and that’s a bad thing (especially when you’re paying to use it). It’s sad when I can’t remember the last day I tracked…what a rough week. It’s been nice having Chris home, but sadly he’s going right back out (gotta love sea duty!).

I’m trying to not beat myself up too much for my lack of commitment lately - it’s not like I didn’t just have a baby 6 weeks ago, that I have a 2 year old and a newborn demanding my attention, plus a dog who has some serious separation issues.

My thoughts for this week are all centered on food, but when aren’t they?! I think one of the worst things you can do is eat a snack while playing on the computer. It ranks right up there with eating a snack while watching tv… “HEY! Where did my snack go?!” or “I could’ve sworn I still had half of a sandwich to eat?!”

Chocolate is bad - very, very bad! I’ve never been one to eat chocolate - I’ve got bad enough skin and it just makes it worse, but when I do eat it why is it I can never have just one piece or just one bite of the stuff?? It’s really REALLY bad for me – usually once I have one piece then I crave it all day, just can’t get enough of the stuff. I am definitely not one of those people who one piece of chocolate a day will satisfy my craving. It is for this reason, and this reason alone (not even the 10 points stop me), that I will not keep Fiber One Chocolate Pop-tarts in the house. I can’t just eat one, I have to eat both, and then later in the afternoon I usually want more chocolate which leads to eating ANY that I can find. Throw in the husband being away and dealing with 2 under 2 by myself and what you have is a recipe for disaster!

Anyway, good news for this upcoming week – I go for my 6 week check-up on Thursday! I’ve been feeling pretty great for a few weeks now, so I don’t see why I won’t be able to start exercising. I still haven’t found my workout logs – guess I should look a little harder. Chris and I are going to go and get free weights and a medicine ball later this week. It looks like jumping rope might be my cardio while Chris is gone…wonder how long I’ll be able to jump for before being tired?! I remember jumping for hours as a kid…hmmm…maybe I’ll include a workout video in the list of things to get later this week?! LOL.

Alright, I’ve rambled on enough for one morning, so here are my goals for the upcoming week.

Food Goal – avoid chocolate…is this chocolate donut I’m eating considered “chocolate?!” and get back on track with recording what I eat.

Exercise Goal – to be cleared to work-out again!

Health Goal – remember, remember, remember to take that daily vitamin.

Another one bites the dust (Angie)

This week went by so fast and I just knew it was going to be bad when I went into my meeting. I met my goal of not going over by more than 5 with my points this week (at least I’m pretty sure I did…I was not very good with tracking) – except for one day when Chris and I just wanted to be “bad” so we ordered pizza. BUT we did order a medium instead of a large (if we're going to eat half a pizza why not make the pizza smaller). I just didn’t have time to track my points like I wanted to, so I tried to make sure that I just didn’t eat as much. I’m not feeling as positive about this week as I did last week, BUT, another one bites the dust – 1 pound down. I’m at 198! Whoot-whoot!

I did well on my “exercise” goal:  I walked Vinson 5 times this past week! Unfortunately that won’t happen with this upcoming week with Chris being gone. I have a stroller to push Katelynn in and a snugli to wear for Denver, but the snugli is hard to put on with just one person (there’s a weird strap that needs snapped right below my shoulder blades), so I can’t take the kiddo’s which means no walking for me this week. I go in for my 6 week check-up on the 10^th so I should be cleared for “exercise” and will be able to do things other than walk. I talked to my sister today and she said all the exercise she was doing last week made her feel better and eat better – I remember days like that!

What is it about exercising that just makes you want to eat better? Especially when you start seeing the results of your efforts; it’s hard to find the motivation at first, but once you start seeing results all those “hunger” feelings start to disappear and the “right” choice becomes so much simpler.

In my excitement to start hitting the gym again, I’ve been hunting for my workout logs from when I had a trainer last year. I took pretty detailed notes so I plan on starting from my day 1 with the trainer and working forward. I’ll start running again too (I plan on doing the C25K – Couch to 5K program)…but I’ll get into those type exercise goals and plans as time goes on. Right now my focus is on walking.

I’m not sure that I want to join a gym this time around. I think I’ll buy a set of weights for the house (3, 5, and 8 pound dumbbells). I think I’ll need an exercise ball too. We just purchased a set of exercise bands (funny thing about that is the exercise type at WW this week is to incorporate bands into your walking routine!!). I’ll have to go over all my training notes and find out the type of equipment we were using. Until I stop WW I won’t have the extra money for a gym. I heard that you can get workout videos through Netflix, and maybe the library? I’ll have to check that out.

Exercising - a family affair in my household! They're trying out the new bands and video.

This week the goal for WW is to “Shake it Up!” They want you to try 10 new foods and do something new in the exercise department. Well, can’t do anything new with exercising, but I can try new foods! Our leader said to just pick up a new (even weird looking) piece of fruit or veggie and just try it. The worst that will happen – you won’t like it. Okay! I can do that, easy enough. Not sure I’ll get 10 new foods in, but I’ll try some new fruit and veggies.

Last week I talked about writing point values on the boxes in the cupboard and my sister sent me this photo (she thinks she’s so funny!), but in reality it’s a good idea…she told me to mark my Nutella jar with a stinky face – LOL! 

Okay, it won't let me post the photo - that's weird. Anyway, it was a refrigerator full of food with smiley faces on them. Very cute! I'll see if I can get it uploaded later.

Goals for the week:

Food – track every day! I was REALLY bad about this one last week. No matter what type of diet/life change you are doing it’s important to keep track of what you eat – you’ll never be able to lose weight unless you know what’s going in. Here's a thought - if I can't get on the computer I should write it down! I should've thought about that last week, oh well, I'll do it this week!

Exercise – to get at least 2 days of walking in before Tuesday (Chris comes home sometime Saturday, so I should be out there walking Sunday and Monday).

Health – REMEMBER to take my multivitamin every day!

**Took off the weight goal and went with Health goal like my sister – I don’t want to stress about the number...that's not the point of what we're trying to do.