Still maintaining

Goodness, when am I ever going to shake this rut?! Chris is gone now so it's just me and the kiddos...if I thought I had no motivation before you should see me now. I'm too tired to do it at 5am after feeding Denver and exhausted at 8pm when I get the kiddos in bed (if I'm lucky enough to have them both down that early). Chris and I have been chatting via e-mail and I think the best thing for me to do is just focus on my eating habits for now and walk when I can (bonus points for any extra activity I can get in). Why I stress about these kind of things is beyond me. The weight will come off eventually. There will come a time when the kids will no longer rely 100% completely and totally on me (that will be a sad day). I should be enjoying this time and not obsessing about how heavy I am.
I did well while on vacation - I maintained. That's good - I neither gained nor lost any weight. I settle for maintaining my 198 pounds over gaining even more weight. I had a rough day today. Katelynn woke up screaming and crying for me; I picked her up and she was burning up. She had a temp of 101.6, so she's been on Tylenol all day (she's hanging around 99 and 100 right now). She was also extra clingy. Then Denver got shots yesterday so he was holding strong at 99 and fussy as well. So, I gave in and ordered pizza for dinner. It made me sick - that'll teach me! Vinson loved it and even Katelynn had two cheesy breadsticks (Papa John's of course; and really that's one of the only things I could get her to eat all day).
I get Comcast hooked up on Thursday and I couldn't be anymore excited!! Yeah, a real internet connection that doesn't drop you and doesn't take all day to load the Yahoo log-in screen (seriously it should not take me a good 4 minutes just to load a screen so I can check my e-mail...I hate you Verizon!). I'm mostly excited by this because now I can actually use livestrong to track what I eat! Writing it down on paper just doesn't work for me.
I finally sat down and read a book by Jen Lancaster that my sister loaned me, "Such a Pretty Fat or Why Pie is Not the Answer." OMG! I couldn't stop laughing. This women is a genius! Ha! I'm stealing how she describes her legs - it's totally my legs! "They've never been slender or dainty; rather, they're incredibly well muscled. Sure, once you get north of my knees they're squashy, but my calves look strong enough to win any ass-kicking contest." Love it!
Before Chris left we took some before photos (for the P90X thing...now I'm not sure I will be able to find the time to get the workouts in...I need at least 90 minutes of me time a day...hmmmm). NEway, in the book she did the same thing and when she downloaded the photos all she wanted to know was, "how the fuck did Jabba the Hutt get into my bedroom, and why is he wearing my pearls?" Ha, ha, ha. She had me laughing out loud so many times. The book made me feel like I was chatting with my best friend; she had a way of voicing exactly what I was thinking and making it funny! I had to laugh when she chronologed her time with the trainer - reminded me of my training sessions. Loved it!
NEway, starting next week I should be blogging more. It really does feel good to get my feelings onto paper, and typing is so much faster then handwriting (and my hands don't cramp up either!). Until then!