Let the workouts begin

I actually met both of my goals this week - I’ve been eating a lot more veggies AND I signed up for Jazzercise. I’m so proud of myself!

Going back to Jazzercise was like meeting a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. It was as if I’d never been gone – except of course for not being able to keep up. I can’t believe that I used to do back-to-back classes because I am so far from that point right now, but I’m back and that’s the important thing. I told Chris last night that it’s funny all the excuses I can come up with to keep from going, but once I finally took that first step I wondered why I waited so long. It felt so good to be moving and sweating.

There are two locations for the Jazzercise here, so I figured I’d check them both out, and I probably should’ve stopped while I was ahead because on my second night of Jazzercise I went to the other location and this time it was in a small room with mirrors all around – OMG! There is nothing like a bold, in your face, wake-up call that only surround full-length mirrors can provide. I seriously thought it looked like my head on somebody else’s body – very bizarre and frightening. I barely recognized myself – I guess I really don’t look like Jillian Michaels – funny I could’ve sworn I had her body. LOL!

I’m very proud of myself – I have made it to Jazzercise 4 days in a row and I plan on going tomorrow too. My only complaint right now is my knee is sore. It’s those darn side lunges. I was talking to Chris about my achiness and had to laugh – it’s not like I’m in my 20’s anymore, and it’s really hit me this time around.

Chris and I ordered P90X off of Amazon – we thought it would be a great workout. I was all gun-ho about it when we ordered it (Sunday night) but now that I’ve started back to Jazzercise (Monday night) and I can literally “see” how far I’ve digressed I’m starting to get anxious that I’m in over my head with the whole P90X thing. Chris actually did some of it before and said that there are 3 levels and that I should be just fine. Either way he is leaving for 5 months so that gives me a little bit of wiggle room for starting and stopping the videos. My goal is still to be at 160 by my birthday. 35 pounds in 5 months – that is definitely do-able if I focus.

I do not have any major goals for the next week. I just want to keep up with Jazzercise and incorporating more veggies into my diet.

April showers bring us May flowers

It's true you know - April showers bring May flowers as well as "rainy days and Monday's always get me down..." This kind of weather always makes me moody. Last Monday was a gorgeous day! It started off overcast, but then the sun burned through. We spent most of the day outside. The past two days it has been overcast and rainy.
Weather like this also makes me wish I had a treadmill or a gym membership. I've actually been thinking about Jazzercise again. My dilemma as usual is the kiddos; it's not a big worry because they do provide day care, but Denver is still so young I don't know if I want to take him yet. It's also not cheap, there is the monthly Jazzercise fee on top of day care for two kids. Amazing how I can come up with ways to talk myself out of doing something isn't it?! If I mentioned it to Chris he would probably say, "it's not that much money and we can afford it if it's going to make you happy and give you a needed break while I'm gone."
I lost the "same 3 or 4" again this week. I'm down to 196 pounds. I honestly don't know how though. I did not track and I re-discovered the box of chocolates Chris and I had hidden in the cupboard a few weeks ago, so not only do I feel bad about eating so much chocolate but my face is showing it as well. :(
Okay, so I have been working on this post for over 2 weeks now. I log in, type some, and then have to stop because one of the kids needs me. I'm hoping that when we get cable the internet connection will be much faster so that I can hop on and post in seconds rather then minutes; also I'm hoping that livestrong will download much faster (I'd be happy with loading in 2 minutes over the 10 minutes it takes now on top of the constant booting because my service drops).
On the weight front I have been maintaining 196. I guess that's not bad considering I'm not logging or being very conscious of my decisions. Now that Chris is home I've managed a few hot meals. The good thing about summer coming is that sandwiches are so good and quick. Denver is only getting bigger which means the next few months as he learns to eat I won't be eating - LOL.
My best friend Crystal is selling her treadmill and I offered to buy it. I have the perfect spot in my cramped home. It will just fit too...although it will be a bit of an eyesore. I'm hoping it will help to get me motivated. Chris and I have been toying around with the idea of purchasing the P90X or the Insanity workout programs. Denver is now sleeping until 5am and then sometimes goes back to sleep for another hour and a half - perfect time to squeeze in a workout.
That's all the updates I have for now...still maintaining and busier then ever. I'm thoroughly enjoying having Chris home and trying very hard not to think about mid-May when he leaves for 5 months. Interesting times ahead.

Goals:
1. Work on getting more veggies into my snacking. It takes as long to open a container of carrots as to open that bag of chips - right?!
2. Get in some workouts while Chris is home...I'm thinking a month pass to Jazzercise will serve as 1) a nice break from the kids in the afternoon and 2) a good start back into a workout regime. 

Same 3 or 4...

I just realized that it has been 2 weeks since I blogged (I notice that Barb hasn’t either…oops, whose motivating who here?!?!). I have not been to any Weight Watcher meetings and since this is my last week on it I dare say I won’t be to anymore. I am going back to using LiveStrong now that my WW membership is up; back to tracking calories instead of points. I’m going to stick with the idea of fruit and veggies being “free.” I think that’s an ingenious idea to get people to eat smarter and healthier.

I stepped on the scale and it read 199. I have been gaining and losing the same 3 - 4 pounds for 4 weeks now. I’m really not surprised by this – I have not been tracking or “exercising” and I’ve pretty much been eating whatever I felt like, and as a result I am no further ahead than I was a few weeks ago.

Stew’s wedding is 6 weeks away. If I stick with it and log my food and walk every day I should be able to lose 10 pounds in that time. I need to get out of the house to be successful – I am fully aware of this! I’m a terrible snacker when I’m just sitting around the house. When the weather turns nice we will probably do 2 walks a day plus trips to the park. It will only get easier as Denver gets bigger (I can’t believe it’s been 10 weeks already!).

I started “running” last week. I met my goal and got 2 runs in and then Chris left again. I can’t run while Chris is gone until Denver is big/old enough to go into the jogging stroller. My first “run” was on an outdoor trail and I alternated 2 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking; I thought that my lungs were going to burst open, but I did it for 15 minutes. I was so proud of myself. My second “run” was on a treadmill at the base gym (it was raining); again I alternated 2 minutes of running and 1 minute of walking but I did it for 30 minutes (double the time). I don’t like running on treadmills, but there is something about working out in a gym that just motivates you. I want to do the C25K (couch to 5K) program, but again I can’t do this until I either 1) join a gym that has childcare or 2) Denver is big enough to go into the jogging stroller.

So, not much has changed in the past 2 weeks:  still weigh the same, still not tracking, still feeling huge, and still beating myself up about it. I don’t remember it being this difficult last time. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Katelynn was almost a year old and I only had one baby; having two can be so taxing.  Or maybe it was that the whole process was new to me so I was super excited about it; I kind of have this whole been there done that feeling. I pulled out all my summer clothes and packed up all my pregnancy clothes the other day. I should’ve just kept the summer clothes in the box because they are not going to fit. Barb and I went to Kohl’s 2 weekends ago and I got 2 pair of jeans and 2 pair of capri’s (I can’t remember the last time I attempted to wear shorts). My fat girl jeans (a size 16 Levi’s) that I have are too tight, so I figured I should go and get something that fits (thinking maybe it would help boost my confidence wearing something other than yoga pants). I hate the fact that I had to shop in plus sizes and that I was trying on 18. I grabbed some 16’s too (I was feeling optimistic), well guess what?! Those 16’s fit!! I did not have to buy 18’s. I know it’s still not the size 12 and 14’s I have in the drawer upstairs, but it’s something. I got a couple cute tops too. I think I looked pretty good on my Anniversary date with the hubby!

Oh wait, did I just attach the pic of me eating chocolate?! And is that bowl empty?? Can I say that Chris ate most of it?! But, no worries, there WAS a strawberry UNDER all that chocolate!

Goals:

My goal for this upcoming week is to track my food in Livestrong and then to blog about my "success" next week!

So Strange

Seriously, I feel like a yo-yo these days. I’m down to 196, so I lost 4 pounds this week. So strange. Anyway, I tracked a lot this week; not every day, but definitely more than last week. I made healthier choices – had a mango, some grapples, bunch of bananas, even had celery and carrots for a snack. I bought these real yummy Pretzel crisps from Costco and at first I put an ounce of cheese on them, but to save points I switched to smearing a cheese wedge on a serving (so now it’s a 3 point snack instead of a 5 point one)…they are so yummy!

I realized that I missed an issue of the WW magazine and I am not happy about it either…I LOVE their magazine! I thought it had been awhile since I’d received one and Barb was talking about these recipes she was trying from the magazine and I didn’t remember reading them. Anyway, I’m borrowing her copy! No point in buying one (that’s what I get a subscription for) – they are expensive too. I tried one of their soup recipes – Tortellini en Brodo and I LOVED IT! I changed it some by making it in the crockpot…just need to add a little more broth if you do it that way. Next time I make it I will probably add some mushrooms too. Katelynn loved it! She had it for dinner and lunch the next day – any food I can get her to eat these days is okay in my book. I’m going to try their Israeli Vegetable Couscous with Feta and Olives next. I went to the store and bought microwavable steamer bags to try their Micro-mashed potatoes and the weirdest thing happened – the bag was empty!! So, I called Ziplock and they are sending me free bags PLUS coupons! So strange.

I have not been able to find the motivation to start “working-out.” I take daily walks with the kiddos and dog, and I always make sure to include a large hill that makes my calves burn. It’s a workout hauling those kids around! I didn’t think it would be but you’re literally strapping a 10 pound weight to yourself while pushing 30 pounds and pulling/holding back 45 pounds. Hmmm…no wonder I work up a sweat. Today it was so nice outside, so while Denver was napping and Katelynn was playing with the sidewalk chalk I did 4-count jumping jacks and walking lunges. Felt great!

My sister and I are going shopping on Sunday. I was hoping that my weight would come off a little quicker so that I could fit into my “fat girl jeans” – a size 16 Levi’s that I’ve had forever. Well, they don’t fit. I did manage to squeeze into them two days ago, but really I wouldn’t be caught dead in public in them. I’ve been living in either my maternity pants or black yoga pants. It’s time to buy my first ever size 18 pants. I WILL NOT keep them once I can get into my 16’s, and you know what?! I’m going to get rid of my size 16’s too. If I ever “need” them again I will buy another pair, but I don’t plan on EVER needing them again. Of course IF I have another baby I might be back at this number again, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I don't even want to think about summer clothes yet. I’ve got a long way to go to get into my size 12 and 14 summer outfits (Side Note: I have NEVER been anything smaller then a size 12…anything before age 13 doesn’t count). My WW leader said to buy yourself a new pair of shoes since you’ll be a different “size” by summer, but you’re feet will still be the same – smart lady! Maybe I’ll get a pair of sandals while we’re out.

I don’t have any big goals for the upcoming week. I didn’t make it to the meeting so I don’t know what the WW goal is – I will have to ask my sister tomorrow (it’s too late to call her now). I want to just keep going and stay positive about it all. Chris comes home on Friday – right in the middle of the “week;” it would be nice if I could get out for a run a few times before he deploys again. Sounds like I just made my goal…

Goals

Exercise – to go for 2 runs. I have no set distance or time goals since it’s been months since I’ve ran. I’ll just be happy to get out there and “run.”

Food – try to work in more veggies.

I don't want to...

I really don’t want to, but I must. I learned a hard lesson this week when I gained 3.4 lbs taking me back up to exactly 200. I really didn’t want to write that down for all to see; then I realized that really the only person that will read this is my sister and she has a been there done that type attitude to help me get through it. “If you’re not ready, don’t force it; just try to be observant” is what she told me. Seriously though I didn’t even think it was possible to gain so much in one week. I had a feeling it was going to be a bad week, but I was thinking along the lines of 1 or 2 pounds, not almost 4. It took me 3 weeks to lose 5 and only 1 to put almost all of it back on.

I’ve been thinking about the weight gain all night, and even had a good cry about it. It’s all behind me now, nothing I can do about it, so my head is up and I’m charging into the next week with a bit of “can-do” attitude.

Reflections on the past week: I tried to think of reasons as to why I put on almost four pounds. My loving husband said “maybe your period is due” and “maybe it was water weight from all the water you’ve been drinking”- LOL…he tries. For some reason over this past week I had the mentality that I didn’t need to write it down, after all I lost 2 lbs last week without tracking. Even as I was eating stuff that I knew better (really Angie did you need to buy Newman’s Own cookies to put in the cookie jar?), I really didn’t seem to care. Where did my motivation go? Probably the same place as my sleep. The wonderful news is Denver is finally starting to sleep for longer periods of time (5 to 6 hours instead of 3 to 4) – although it feels as if I’m more tired now that I’m actually getting some sleep. Katelynn is being very 2 these days which is so very draining; in ways she has even digressed some (they say that happens when another child comes along). Chris is on deployment again. Hmmm…can I come up with any more excuses as to why I didn’t take the time to log what I ate? Can I think of anyone else to blame but myself? Give me time and I just might!

Good news on the exercise front. I got cleared last week, so I’ve started walking more (can’t run unless Chris is here…I don’t think the snugli’s are meant for running with a 6 week old?! LOL). I strapped Denver to my chest, put Katelynn in the jogging stroller, and hooked Vinson up and off we went – boy what a workout! I was sweating after the first block. Looks like it’s going to rain for the next two days so I think I’ll give the band DVD workout a try. Chris also said, “maybe you’re eating more because you’re walking more” that would be so true if I didn’t just start that 2 days ago when the weather got nice.

I’m starting the “week” off right and I’m tracking. I logged my breakfast already. I’m going to remind myself that even if I don’t log a meal or I miss a day that not all is lost. Do not give up on the entire week just because of a bad day.

I don’t know what the WW tip for the week is yet. With Chris being gone I had to take the kids to the meeting with me and Katelynn had a huge meltdown – which could be a blessing in disguise because it prevented me from having a meltdown of my own over my weight gain (didn’t even see it was a gain until I got into the car). Two weeks ago it was to try new fruit and veggies – my sister tried a mango and shared it with me on Sunday. I never even knew what they looked like whole (I’ve seen and had them sliced before). It looked really easy so I might have to get one on my next trip to the grocery store. The fruit I tried was a Grapple. It "looks like an apple and tastes like a grape" is what the box said, and yes, it did look like an apple…tasted more like a grape icee…very sweet. It was not my favorite, but a nice change.

Goal:

My goal for the week is to take charge of my weight loss efforts. It’s my body and no one else can do it for me. I can complain all I want about the obstacles in my way, but ultimately it is up to me to make the changes.

Pick, pick, pick

What a long week! Chris was deployed (although by the pictures he sent me it looked more like a vacation), and I thought that I ate really bad overall (chocolate, pop tarts, pizza, etc). I did have a lot of rice and chicken with veggies for dinner (so easy to make). I don’t normally make bland stuff while Chris is here so it was a nice change of pace.  I didn’t get a lot of sleep this week either so I did a lot of picking throughout the day and coffee drinking (lots of creamer please). I ate out twice too. Yet with all this I still managed to lose 2 lbs this week! I’m down to 196.

The big news of the week - I’ve decided to stop WW. Not because it doesn’t work, but because I just don’t have the time to take full advantage of the program (I’ll continue with it until my monthly pass expires in April). I’m ready to lose weight, I’m just not ready to give someone money for a program that I just don’t have the time to follow. I enjoy the weekly meetings but they are hard to make when Chris is gone, and since he’s leaving for 3 more weeks this Sunday and then possibly for 6 months shortly after that…it will be best to just wait awhile. I don’t think I’d benefit any from going to the weekly meetings and being constantly reminded of how bad I’m eating or how I just didn’t have the time to work out that week (plus the stress of either finding someone to watch the kids or dragging them to the meetings). Besides I can get all the weekly topics and updates from my Sister!

I really enjoy the WW magazine so I will continue my subscription. I know I can do this without WW and it will save us money to cancel my membership (money that will now go to doggy daycare). Livestrong (which I used last year) is free too! I’m all about saving money these days…especially with Stew’s wedding coming up (that’s my brother and he’s getting married in the Dominion Republic in May…ah, warm, sandy beaches).

Of course this in no way means I’ll stop my blog! I love writing. It gives me an outlet for how I’m feeling, and somehow it always seems so much more manageable when it’s all written down right in front of me. I’m still making a life style change; I’m just going to do it without WW, and I know I can be just as supportive of my sister (and myself) without the program.

Right now I’m making small changes like I did a year ago and I’m slowly losing. Aren’t those the type of changes that make you successful in the long run? Change one or two things here and there. All that matters to me is that I feel good about myself. I feel so down on me lately – nothing seems to be good enough. If I do get an occasional break then I feel guilty for not being with the kiddos. I read my sister’s update last week and she was so positive, it made me realize how negative I’ve been about everything. I’m hoping to turn that around this week. The funny thing about that is the topic at WW for the upcoming week “Celebrating your strengths.” We’re supposed to try positive self-talking. Too funny!

Tracking this week was really bad – I almost forgot what the WW tracker looks like and that’s a bad thing (especially when you’re paying to use it). It’s sad when I can’t remember the last day I tracked…what a rough week. It’s been nice having Chris home, but sadly he’s going right back out (gotta love sea duty!).

I’m trying to not beat myself up too much for my lack of commitment lately - it’s not like I didn’t just have a baby 6 weeks ago, that I have a 2 year old and a newborn demanding my attention, plus a dog who has some serious separation issues.

My thoughts for this week are all centered on food, but when aren’t they?! I think one of the worst things you can do is eat a snack while playing on the computer. It ranks right up there with eating a snack while watching tv… “HEY! Where did my snack go?!” or “I could’ve sworn I still had half of a sandwich to eat?!”

Chocolate is bad - very, very bad! I’ve never been one to eat chocolate - I’ve got bad enough skin and it just makes it worse, but when I do eat it why is it I can never have just one piece or just one bite of the stuff?? It’s really REALLY bad for me – usually once I have one piece then I crave it all day, just can’t get enough of the stuff. I am definitely not one of those people who one piece of chocolate a day will satisfy my craving. It is for this reason, and this reason alone (not even the 10 points stop me), that I will not keep Fiber One Chocolate Pop-tarts in the house. I can’t just eat one, I have to eat both, and then later in the afternoon I usually want more chocolate which leads to eating ANY that I can find. Throw in the husband being away and dealing with 2 under 2 by myself and what you have is a recipe for disaster!

Anyway, good news for this upcoming week – I go for my 6 week check-up on Thursday! I’ve been feeling pretty great for a few weeks now, so I don’t see why I won’t be able to start exercising. I still haven’t found my workout logs – guess I should look a little harder. Chris and I are going to go and get free weights and a medicine ball later this week. It looks like jumping rope might be my cardio while Chris is gone…wonder how long I’ll be able to jump for before being tired?! I remember jumping for hours as a kid…hmmm…maybe I’ll include a workout video in the list of things to get later this week?! LOL.

Alright, I’ve rambled on enough for one morning, so here are my goals for the upcoming week.

Food Goal – avoid chocolate…is this chocolate donut I’m eating considered “chocolate?!” and get back on track with recording what I eat.

Exercise Goal – to be cleared to work-out again!

Health Goal – remember, remember, remember to take that daily vitamin.